25 July 2007

The 10 Best Simpsons Vehicles

The Simpsons Movie is almost upon us, and while we all await certain dissatisfaction with the end result of said endeavor, here's a list of some memorable cars from The Simpsons over the years....

The Family Car

Homer, Homer Simpson
He's the greatest guy in history
From the, town of Springfield
He's about to hit a chestnut tree
The Simpsons family-mobile has taken quite a few lumps over the years- being dumped into a lake, falling through ice, or even having Homer use a pickaxe to put speed holes in it. Through it all, it's taken a licking and kept on ticking. And the paint has been splendid since day one. Where is Marge's car? It's a station wagon. That should be explanation enough.

DeLorean- Troy McClure

"Hi there, I'm a DeLorean. You might remember me from such roles as Time Travelling Device in Back To The Future I, II and III, and as the 20 Years Out Of Style Sports Car Owned By Troy McClure in The Simpsons."

Was there ever a more perfect choice for a vehicle for Troy McClure than the DeLorean? Just a brilliant piece of 'casting'.

Mr. Plow- Homer Simpson

Call Mr. Plow, that's my name
The name again, is Mr. Plow
The creme de la creme of snow removal services in Springfield. Able to clear driveways and streets of snow effortlessly, with a jingle that can't be beat...

The Plow King- Barney Gumble

Until Barney shows up with The Plow King. Apparently Mr. Plow isn't immune to gunshots to the tires, and the Plow King has the services of Linda Ronstadt.


Can you name the truck with four wheel drive,
smells like a steak and seats thirty-five..

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down,
It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!

Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero!
[Krusty:] Hey Hey

The Federal Highway comission has ruled the
Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.


12 yards long, 2 lanes wide,
65 tons of American Pride!

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!

Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!)

She blinds everybody with her super high beams,
She's a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine!

Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!)

Drive Canyonero!

Woah Canyonero!

Rolls Royce (various)- Mr. Burns

Would you expect anything else for the richest man in Springfield? Notable for the one time when Mr. Burns attempted to drive on his own-

I thought, uh, I thought I'd chauffeur myself this evening. yes, that's what I thought. How difficult could it be? I'm sure the manual will indicate which level is the velocitator and which the decleratrix, hmm?
Mercedes SL- Baron von Wortzenberger

Ja, ja, ja, mach schnell mit der art things, huh? I must get back to Dancecentrum in Stuttgart in time to see Kraftwerk. Hey, und dummkopf! Watch out for the CD changer in my trunk eh? Idiot.
Another inspired car choice.

The Bus- Otto Mann

The jump off point for a ton of episodes, and the scene of many a great comedic moment, including the infamous apple/banana race. Just watch out for those pesky gremlins.

Hail to the bus driver man indeed.

The Tractor- Groundskeeper Willie

Well duh. How else would he groundskeep?

The Homer

A perfect example of why the focus group isn't always right. What did Homer want for his car? Separated children pods, a little ball on the aerial, tail fins, a big motor, huge cupholders, shag carpeting, a Rolls grille, and a horn that played the Cucaracha. The tagline? Powerful like a gorilla, yet soft and yielding like a Nerf ball...it's amazing that it didn't sell like hotcakes. Oh yeah, the sticker was $82,000. On the plus side, the failure led to the bankruptcy of Herb Powell, which ultimately led to him coming back to Homer for money help and a reappearance of the drinking bird in a later episode. So it was all worth it.

Any I've missed?

Thanks to the Simpsons Archive for the quotes.


69Firebird400 said...

Awesome post! My favorite is The Homer, but they're all excellent.

Anonymous said...

What abou Apu's Trans AM and Lil' Bandit(Snakes car "She needs premium, dude!")?

Greg said...

What about snake's car "Lil' Bandit"?
"She takes premium dude!

Anonymous said...

The "Spruce Moose." Mr. Burn's model airplane which he orders Smithers to ride in at gun point.

Anonymous said...

Most of these (including Apu's Trans Am and Snake's Car) are drivable in the excellent Simpsons Road Rage video game (a blatant Crazy Taxi rip-off).


Anonymous said...

Mr. Burns 1911 Bear Stutgart. He and Homer make good their escape!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Marge's red station wagon.

Anonymous said...

The RV, the episode where Homer buys an RV and turns his back yard into an RV camp. "I'm an every where man, I've been every where"

Anonymous said...

I have always had a special place for the monorail

Anonymous said...

What about the Bentley Mark-12 the Megatronix guy has?

"You see that Bentley out there, that's a Bentley Mark-12. They gave one to me, one to Steven Speilberg, and then they shot the guy who made it."

Anonymous said...

What about the devil car from the rolling stones fantasy camp

Anonymous said...

Arent we forgetting TRUCKASAURUS!!

Anonymous said...

What about the flowered VW Beetle Mr. Burns was driving in his flashback when her hit Bart. The best!

Anonymous said...

Let's see...The Flying Motorcycle that Professor Frink uses.

Homer's Mattress Car with the flashlight headlights and Marge's custom knit seatbelts.

Superintendent Chalmers' Honda Accord...minus the H, that is.

Bart's skateboard. It's totally a vehicle.

Hans Moleman's Gremlin.

Hell, even Milhouse's bumpersticker-covered self in the shopping cart can be considered a vehicle.

Anonymous said...

What about Homer's rocket car that goes along with his solid gold house?
This list is bunk. (Rolls Royce Various? C'mon!)

Anonymous said...

"This is agent Johnson of the FBI"..."be on the lookout for a 1912 Stubs Maroon Bear cat"

Wiggum: (after the car drives by) "that really was more of a burgundy"

Anonymous said...

moe's car with the daisy on the hood?

Anonymous said...

How about the car that resulted in Nelson getting his? I'm talking about the VW Bug being driven by the really large man. Classic!

SweetZombieJesus said...

Where's Very Tall Man's Beatle?

Anonymous said...

...There's also Patty and Selma's VW Thing. Don't forget that one!

Anonymous said...

someone said it already but mole man's gremlin is fantastic. "i just made my last payment." rolls to a stop and explodes anyway.

Anonymous said...

How about Fat Tony's car, with the boss hood ornament?

Anonymous said...


Sideshowjay said...

How about these?

Otto's Poolmobile
Martin's Soapbox Derby Car
Krusty's Airplane the "I'm On A Roll-a Gay"
Ned Flander's Winnabago
"Red's Rascal" the 18-wheeler that Homer and Bart drive to Atlanta after the owner dies in the steak-eating contest with Homer
Kang & Kodos' spaceship

Zachary said...

The Electaurus - make way for electric speed.

Anonymous said...

How bout the Batmobile?!

carlivar said...

You definitely forgot the Volkswagen Thing that I believe Selma drives.

Anonymous said...

Superintendent Chalmers' 1979 Honda Accord. It's nothing without the stolen H. "What's the point of driving a Honda if you can't show it off".

Andy said...

Ed Begley's car powered entirely by his own sense of self-worth!

Anonymous said...

"7/26/2007 9:23 AM
Anonymous said...
Mr. Burns 1911 Bear Stutgart. He and Homer make good their escape!"

It's actually called a Stutz Bearcat

Anonymous said...

barts skateboard?

Anonymous said...

the pool mobile!

Joshua said...

the correct first line is "Simpson, Homer Simpson..."

Anonymous said...

The old timey bicycle, whose rider kicks Homer in the face.

Anonymous said...

What about the first Hover car ever made in the look into the future episode.

Anonymous said...

The best line about the Canyonero is when Rainier Wolfcastle describes the mileage as "1 highway, 0 city"

Anonymous said...

What about the ambulance, which influences Homer to become a paramedic for an episode? - 'buy me, buy me, buy me'

SobeSVT said...

Canyonero (with Spanish spelling CaƱonero) was a Venezuelan race horse that won two of the three Triple Crown races in 1972. CaƱonero was the very definition of a "dark horse", winning this races despite a crooked rear leg, and coming 4th in the last one despite a leg infection.

Where do this guys dig these things out of?

Tramp said...

The Behemoth Dude, the Behemoth!

Anonymous said...

what about lil' bandit ??????????

Anonymous said...

Nelson's dad's shooting car?
"only 3 more payments, and it's ours"